So Washington DC is on Snow Day Number 4 now (well, technically 3.5 but nobody hung out for the .5....we all know this! You're not fooling anyone USG employees) - four blessed days of non-working, free holiday bliss. Free Bliss provided to federal employees....but not ALL federal employees. There are some federal employees who have been forced to continue to pretend to work. Who have been forced to make polite conversation with their co-workers -- even though some of those co-workers are asshats! Apparently, we're not allowed to tell them this...however, I really think we have a duty to warn in this situation. I mean, seriously, I think some of them might not actually KNOW they are asshats. In fact, I am convinced that this one dude here thinks he is totally popular and that everyone thinks he's cool....we don't. (and when I say "we," naturally, I mean "me.") In fact, everytime I encounter him during the day, I want to punch him in the face -- but I don't -- because I'm seriously that good of a person.
So what I'm trying to tell you is that I'm A FEDERAL GOVERNMENT EMPLOYEE. In fact, I have BEEN a federal government employee for so long now that the federal government is currently unable to fire me. It is UNPOSSIBLE. Back in the day, back when I was all motivated to make a difference -- back when I actually thought the federal government was a good thing -- some schmuck checked a box that said he recommends me for continued employment. SUCKAH! Ergo, I'm unfireable...(unless I turn to a life of crime and comit a felony..and even then I think the USG would likely offer me counseling and give me a job at the post office so I'm not all disgruntled and tell everyone how bad the USG honks. It's a huge secret. (FYI, we honk. Don't tell anyone).
HOWEVER, because I'm posted to Sudan and it is a chilly 108 degrees during the peak of the day (however, it DOES get down into the low 80s at night, I've got my flannel jammies on...Josh is a lucky man) I'm guessing that Sudan is not going to declare a snow day. (Although, Sudan is on the metric system. I'm not really sure what 108 converts to (it's a number that can never be known) so maybe we WILL get a snow day here). So I am MISSING out on the snow day largesse currently being enjoyed by thousands of federal employees.
It's an unspeakable outrage...and I'm not going to take it. (okay, well yes I am, but I obviously won't go quietely!)
So, I need you all to consider the real victims of this tragedy. The ones who are not currently located in DC, the ones who are sitting at their desk misuing USG computers to write this post (just kidding USG internet police! I'm at my damn house!) Consider those victims. Remember them today. Remember them as they continue to toil day in and day out, answering emails with "Oh, that's not me, you need to contact Katie in some other office that is not my office.." THOSE PEOPLE are the true victims of this tragedy. Don't believe the sob stories that CNN are showing you. CNN is not in Sudan to report the real story (they're always reporting on some stupid other issue here - something about elections and stability in the region..WHATEVER! BORING!)
Reach down into your hearts and start a letter campaign to the USG and DEMAND that they close the federal government EVERYWHERE! As a Nation, we simply cannot allow this blatant discrimination to continue!
Shame on you Obama!
Sometimes? I'm Judgmental. Also, Seattle!
3 hours ago