Monday, October 19, 2009

The Year of the Dingo

Well, I think we all knew this day was coming -- and I was just hoping I could ignore it, and it would go away (which is how I like to solve all my problems, frankly) -- but the Embassy has found out that we have been harboring a pack of dingos in the housing compound.  Apparently, that is not allowed on USG property.  So, we have to now either take them into our houses and let them out only on a leash, or find them homes.

Yes, you heard me.  Apparently, we have leash laws in Sudan now too.   Soon, they won't let us drink and drive here or self-medicate on prescription drugs you bought at the local pharmacy because you saw an ad on the internet where the people looked like they were happy and thin.  (Now I realize that I should probably READ the articles where it tells you what the drug is FOR, but I'm more of a big picture person.  I can't let myself get bogged down in the details.)

Normally, you'd think I would be despondent.  I have about 10 days to find homes for 6 stray dingos.  Some of you new to this blog might not be aware that I am a crazy dog lady and wouldn't remember that I actually got into a HUGE fight with my hubby when we watched a Discovery channel special about a super-volcano eruption when he told me that, No, he wasn't going to get a "special mask" for Kernel and Jack to use when we had to walk to Ohio to save ourselves.  I KNOW! RIGHT??

Shit! I'm still mad.   HATEFUL! 

That reminds me, I really should get a special mask made for doggie noses and send them to the guy who is taking care of the boys in the States.  You never know when a huge volcano will erupt and you have to walk to Ohio. 

So anyway, I'm actually NOT despondent because I have a plan.  Well, a few plans.  (My plans don't always seem to work....) I've already convinced the local guard who loved the Smelly Pirate Ho Mommy Dog to take her and the babies.  (And a 50 lb bag of dogfood).  So there's three down in just one day.  Now we intend to harass the others (who like the babies) to take them home with them and just let them run around their yards. I can totally do this.  Even the local guards are freaking out that we cannot let them run around in the street because the Sudanese Government will have them killed.  Someone will take them.

Who wouldn't want little Pippy, Riley and Jinglebells?!?!?!

In hindsight, we probably should have trained them to do some kinda circus tricks so that they could earn a living. 

14 comments:

mo.stoneskin said...

I've always wanted a Smelly Pirate Ho Mommy Dog, they sound delightful.

So there was no warning about this? If not then that's pretty harsh. Or were you to busy watching drug ads?!

Gaston Studio said...

Josh wouldn't let you purchase doggy masks for that long walk to Ohio? Girl, you gotta learn to do what every other wife in America does to survive... do what you want to do and don't tell him about it until it's done. You're giving him way to much leeway here, asking his opinion!

Leash laws in Sudan? Are you sure someone in the embassy isn't pulling your chain just 'cause you're a crazy dog lady?

Jane! said...

Wow, I thought your were kidding about the dingos in the yard. Like a term of endearment or something, which makes me wonder now.... what exactly is a dingo. Are they wild? I should probably go read some of your older posts, huh?

When our precious pup has a bad dream and jumps into bed, my husband used to object - saying there wasn't enough room for the 3 of us. He's kept quiet ever since I suggested we take a vote on who should leave.

tera said...

Poor dingos. At least they don't eat dogs there.

I have been so absent lately...now I have to go catch up on all your other posts I have missed over the last week!

tera said...

In hindsight, we probably should have trained them to do some kinda circus tricks so that they could earn a living...

You should teach them how to fetch booze and mix a martini.

Captain Dumbass said...

Sure, next thing you know they'll want you to leave your AK-47 at home. Bastards.

otin said...

As long as they don't take your drunk driving privledges, it will be ok!

bernthis said...

dingo, reminds me of Bingo which reminds me I'm getting old because I suddenly have an urge to play it

Optimistic Pessimist said...

oh no. the dingos are getting kicked out. if anyone can force someone to do something they don't want to do, it would be you. i know you'll find homes for all the dogs.

p.s. had a discussion in my class about drinking over your lunch break and I totally thought about you and mad men. and then i thought about how i do it, but shit...i wasn't going to admit that to my classmates.

Beth said...

This cannot be safe! The dingos are there to provide national security. I know people who are far more afraid of dogs than guns or weapons of mass destruction and such. Protectors don't need to do tricks!

blognut said...

You should give all three of them to someone new at work. You know? It'll be like a welcome gift to whatever person in the office is the newest one there. It'll make 'em love you.

♥ Braja said...

Why don't you just run out into the street and do what Meryl did, scream: "THAT DINGOS GOT MY BABY!!!" in a really strong Aussie accent. (I can help you with that if you like).

Alisha said...

SO CUTE! Good luck finding homes for them!

K said...

Good luck!

Hope the rest of them find happy homes quickly (and then you won't have to worry about them any more).