Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Oh Oh...

So remember back in the day, when I posted the pictures of the rains and the floods in Sudan? When I was searching for materials and instructions to build an ark?? Remember also how the doctor told me to take malaria medication, but then I was all "I don't need that shit! It's a desert!" But then I got bit by a mosquito so then I assumed I was going to die, so then I immediately bought those Off! Wipes?? But then I lived, so I promptly forgot to use them?

Remember that?? (NO!? Pay attention!! I shouldn't have to say this shit twice - although, technically I probably repeat myself four or five times because I forget who I told what because I don't even listen to me...)

ANYWAY, today the Embassy doc was briefing everyone on the multiple cases of cerebral malaria here in Khartoum after those damn rains!  WTF!?!?  Apparently, we were supposed to be taking the malaria medication more than once.  SOMEONE REALLY NEEDS TO TELL US THIS SHIT (more than once).

So anyway, after my rounds of National Days (which still haven't ended, fyi) I noticed that I have approximately 72 mosquito bites on my ankles and feet (stupid sandals!)   I can only assume I will be dead within the week.  WHY? Because the stupid nurse handed us a hand out (WHY won't they learn that I cannot be given documentation about shit!?)  that said that the symptoms of cerebral malaria are:  

(1) impaired consciousness with non-specific fever; (2) generalized convulsions and neurological sequelae; and (3) coma that persists for 24-72 hours, initially rousable and then unrousable.

Seriously! I think I might have impaired consciousness with non-specific fever.  I'm sleepy, I'm hot...and although I'm not sure exactly what it IS, but I'm almost positive I have a sequelae!!!   

What the hell does that mean?!?!

Goodbye cruel world.  But just for the record you should know that I'm going to be SERIOUSLY PISSED if I die in Khartoum and I'm all crabby and sleepy from these national days.   

Make no mistake, the malaria may get me, but I'm gonna haunt your asses!!!

20 comments:

Mrs. K said...

yikes woman- looks like you need a vacation in let's say...American Samoa? better chances there? OUCH!

lakeviewer said...

Oh no! No! They can't do this; They need all of you sane and sound. Michel, get your meds, asap.

darsden said...

Oh crap say it ain't so... I will miss your whinny butt ;-)

rubbish said...

Only 72 bites, jeez that's nothing. Just in case though, great blog so please don't haunt me.

mo.stoneskin said...

I get bitten 72 times every day between May and November. If anyone knows about sequelingummybubs it should be me.

*scratch*

CarrieAnn said...

I hate when I get malaria!

Pastor Sharon said...

Listen here! You get yourself some serious prayer going! You ain't goin' nowhere missy!

You are stuck with all of us!

otin said...

Malaria would not infect someone with such a funny disposition! LOL!

A Mom on Spin said...

Isn't the third symptom similar to a night of drinking? Initially rousable, but then un-rousable???

Yeah, it's a alcohol induced . . .

Mango Girl said...

Should we start planning your wake?

That was a funnneeeeee post!

xo, Mango

(death to all mosquitoes!)

Beth said...

After reading the symptoms, I'm sure the kid at the back of the room in Mrs. G's class has malaria. He was unrousable and in a coma-like state.

Damn mosquitoes.

Yeah, I'm Still Here... said...

Whoa, I've been away for awhile... hey, I like purple!

Oh Michel, I am so going to miss you but go ahead and come on by for a haunt... we'll go out for a drink!

Weird... go check out my blog list, I'll wait - SEE! Two oh oh's in a ROW! Just WTF does THAT mean!

Oh My Goddess said...

Am I in the will?

Smart Mouth Broad said...

You can't die, Michel. How will we define diplomacy if you're not here to set the bar?

Amy said...

I can't believe you didn't take the medicine!!!! Please tell me you are taking it now, not sure it would do any good though. Don't you remember me saying all you people better stay our of that water?
Please tell me you didn't REALLY go swimming that day!!!!

Seriously though, take care of yourself and stay away from those disease infested misquitos!!! The LD corporation can't afford for you to die!!!!

blognut said...

You already haunt us now!!! I can't imagine what it will be like once you succumb to cerebral malaria.

Take the damn pills, Michel!! Then you can post about how hard it is to swallow those damn horse pills, and that they taste like shit. :)

Reddirt Woman said...

Michel, then damn skeeters died after biting your feet. They only did it on a dare from another skeeter that had seen others not survive after biting you. It was scientific study by a demonic skeeter.

Helen

franzi said...

priceless post! that's exactly how i felt when i was in mozambique and suddenly had aching joints (yikes - aching joints+headache=malaria in the books of my colleagues). so i pictured myself dropping half dead in the next hour or so.

lol - thanks for bringing back that memory

franzi

Gaston Studio said...

Unrousable, so that's what I've been suffering from. Okay, this is what you do. Tell Pastor Sharon and Amy to send you a boatload of those mosquito hawks they have all over the place in Indiana and set them all loose in Karthoum. Those little suckers will get fat in no time... oh wait, maybe their names are misnomers.

class-factotum said...

A woman I know who was a Peace Corps volunteer in Africa got cerebral malaria after she finished Peace Corps and was traveling in Africa. She was in the hospital somewhere there and the monitoring system was a little boy who sat by her side and ran to get the nurse every time she woke up or did something weird. She did survive.