Okay, before I begin, I totally cannot seem to grasp the rules of Capitalization in Titles. (See?? I capped it like I think it should be done, and when it is all short and shit, it's pretty easy - but what if there was a "then" in that, or a "you"?? Do those get capitalized?? WTF grammar police!? Where are you when I need you?) PLUS, titles are hard. You totally gotta try to be all creative and make some pithy reference that makes sense for what you're going to talk about - and that means you have to know what you're going to talk about - It's frankly exhausting. AND, as you all probably know by now, I'm waaay too lazy to look that shit up and read through to the end - Therefore, I'm just going to capitalize random words and call it a day. And I will likely also continue my love affair with run-on sentences too. Deal with it.
Soooo, last night I'm driving home after working really late at the stupid embassy and I had a little wee bit o' road rage. Turns out, I should probably get a driver to take me home when I'm really tired and crabby. (For future reference and the state of relations between the US and Sudan, someone write that down). ANYWAY, in Sudan they don't actually obey any traffic laws and there is no courtesy driven social contract. These people just effin go, and they drive on whatever side of the road they feel is most convenient. I get that. I usually just take advantage of that and do whatever the hell I want. In truth, I was kinda enjoying having no speed limit, obeying traffic lights if you feel the mood coming on - but last night...i'd had enough.
So I'm turning left onto some road whose name can never be known because Sudan has not decided on a name for its streets yet. Everyone calls it whatever the hell they feel like. So for your reference, it was the road just past the burned out donkey carcass and just before the large pile of tires near the airport....(are you with me?) SO anyway, I make a run for it when there is a break in traffic and there is a little amjat (which is like a little wee van-bus) that decides HE wants to turn left and goes out onto the side of the road that I am trying to turn. SO THEN that guy gets PISSED AT ME because apparently, I didn't get the memo that he has the effin right of way because he is in a hurry.
So he starts yelling out the window and waving his arm at me. he's all fired up.
So what did I do?? I stopped the car in the middle of the street. I had to GET OUT because the windows do not roll down in my stupid armored car, which is very frustrating, fyi - and I screamed at him, asking what the hell is his problem, and would he like to explain to me why the hell he thinks he should be allowed to turn from MY SIDE of the road. And I pretty much created a scene. However, that guy didn't speak english, so he just stared at me like I was "mashnuna" (crazy lady) and then he got pulled over by the traffic cop.
I think I scared the shit out of him. He totally didn't see that one coming.
ANYWAY, my point is that when I headed back to my car, I realized that I had Miley Cyrus' new song that OH MY GODDESS made me listen to and then got me hooked, so it is not my fault. She's a pusher -- blaring out of the Ipod over the car stereo and it was pretty loud.
So I would like to apologize to America for giving the Sudanese population that the American people are all a bunch of teen aged girls.
Nobody could have known. It was unknowable.
Sometimes? I'm Judgmental. Also, Seattle!
3 hours ago