Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Okay, So It Is Apparently NOT Appropriate In the Workplace...

Turns out, it is no longer cool to pour yourself a drink in the workplace during working hours - EVEN if you think it is a good idea and you think it will help you get through the rest of the day listening to your whiny co-workers and random people who call you on the phone and open with "I need a favor!"   I believe that starting with "Hello Michel.  How  are you?  This is blah blah" might help your chances of getting said favor (but likely won't.)

So after my atrocious day (and I'm really not even sure why  -- I just know I didn't like it) I looked up at my little post-it note I stuck to my computer that said, WWDDD? (what would Donald Draper Do?) and promptly realized that what I am MISSING is a drink!  A drink would make everything better - you know, take the edge off.....

So I went on a mission to find myself a drink.  First of all, Why in God's Name do we have PIMMS in the office??  Who let the British into our Embassy?? Plus, WTF IS that stuff?!  For the record, Donald Draper would NEVER drink PIMMS.  It even sounds sissy! (No offense pimms drinkers, well, technically you're sissy, but still...it's rude to say so.  I should only think that INSIDE not say it outside.)

And then I found it: SCOTCH.  Not just any scotch, but a bottle of Johnny Walker Blue Label that I forgot I bought for my hubby when I was bored at Duty Free in Dubai and couldn't figure out the conversion rate so I just figured it was a good deal because it was free of duty.  God only knows how much duty adds to a product.  Obviously, the conditions were perfect for the purchase. 

So I found a little glass (of course, it was a juice glass - so it kinda ruined the whole Donald Draper effect) and I poured myself a scotch rocks and after my co-workers confirmed that yes, I was having a drink...yes, I knew it was only 4 pm and yes, I can and will have this drink while I am sitting at my desk in a non-happy hour situation - I took a big ole swig! 

That shit is NOT yummy!

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH DONALD DRAPER!?  I'm considering breaking up with him and no longer telling everyone he is my boyfriend.  But then I remembered: that was Josh's scotch!

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH JOSH!? 

I wonder what Pimms tastes like...

29 comments:

Esmerelda said...

I'm missing the innappropriate part here???

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

I've always wanted to like drinking scotch.

Reddirt Woman said...

A friend tried to teach me how to drink scotch. I was a failure. Tastes like dirty gym socks smell.

You were drinking alone... do we need to worry about you? And what is PIMM'S and who is Donald Draper?

Helen

Medora said...

It's crazy to watch Mad Men and see all the constant drinking and smoking, which was de rigeur when I was growing up. It's all considered so evil now.

AmyK said...

I can just visualize that. I had a job once where everyone pitched in $5 on payday Friday to the Bandaid box. Yes, really. The booze money for the office was kept in a metal bandaid box and after work or whenever, you could go to the "keeper of the booze" for a shot. This was a huge, still in business, "Not for profit" organization.

Johnny Walker Scotch was my drink of choice when I turned 21 and had something to prove. It was considered a "Man's" drink so, of course, I had to drink it On the Rocks!! You can acquire a taste for it, but by 22, I was over it.

Captain Dumbass said...

I was on a bus in Scotland that went through some town with a distillery and even the air hurt to breath. Still, it's one of those drinks that just looks cool in your hand. Too bad it tastes so bad.

rubbish said...

I remember my first job, just. Every morning 4 of us would crack open a bottle of vodka in the canteen before we started. Then we used to have a few cans of beer during the morning before a quick hour or so down the pub for lunch. Finally, we'd have a bottle of Scotch in the afternoon and then, if lucky, grab a couple of hours sleep before the shift ended.
God I miss driving them trains.

A Mom on Spin said...

A swig??? Ouch!

TechnoBabe said...

I would take Pimms even though I have never had it.

blognut said...

Scotch is firewater and it tastes much like battery acid. It should be avoided.

Also? If a blognut drinks scotch, she turns into a hell cat. Hell cats are only appropriate in certain situations, so it's best if blognuts do not turn into hell cats.

Just sayin'.

loveandbooze said...

I've had those days. In fact, I have had those days a lot lately. Your post made me want to drive home for a shot or two of Crown. :(

Beth said...

At least Scotch tastes better than Jagermeister. That crap is just NyQuil repackaged.

CarrieAnn said...

Ahhhh....this is what I need to make me love my job again! A hidden bottle of liquor in my stockroom/non-office.

Pastor Sharon said...

You have just left me laughing out loud! You have brass. . . butterflies to be drinking on the job. . . .

Now. . . PIMMS? Is that like TAB. . . if so, don't drink it. While it won't kill you, the taste will make you want to kill yourself.

Aptly Inappropriate said...

your office reminds me of my office on certain days. Then again, we have supervisors who have "nooners" which is liquid lunch, and on special occasions, leave work early to start their "nooners".

Optimistic Pessimist said...

you need to keep your martinis in a shaker, in a bucket of ice. be sure to give it a good shake every now and then. that will fix the problem...and any other ones.

i went back to work once after having a few too many on my lunch break and it was fabulous...until my buzz wore off. it was not a pleasant experience. so the lesson is: if you start drinking at work make sure you have enough alcohol to see you through the rest of the day.

omchelsea said...

Only inappropriate when you work with children. Then you can't even THINK beer o'clock.

Anonymous said...

POMAGRANTE LUQUIOR IS AWESOME, A LITTLE SQURIT. EVERY ONE WILL THING YOUR DRINKING SOUTHEN CONFORT, LETS FACE IT I THINK YOU LIKE THE SWEET STUFF,

OF COURSE IT' 5 O'CLOCK SOME WHERE
MARGRITA

Gaston Studio said...

OMG, I just love Beth's comment!!! Used to be an avid scotch drinker myself for many decades, now, I don't touch the stuff so feel free to finish off the bottle.

CK Lunchbox said...

WWDDD! I love you! In my situation, I have to ask WWBDD (what would Betty Draper do?) "Go bang your head in the wall, kids."

And inappropriate? That's sad. I remember the days living in Korea when I could get a Miller Lite from the vending machine for 35 cents.

Scotch strait is a bit hardcore. Scotch with water will take the bite out.

tera said...

I have often said that my job would be much easier if they would give us a shot (the booze kind, not the malaria kind - or the H1N1 kind for that matter [and what the hell kind of name for the flu IS that anyway? ...and I'm not taking one regardless!]...but I digress)...um, where was I?
Oh yah, shot of choice and a Valium.
Yah. My job would be so much better!

♥ Braja said...

Darling, Pimms? You have no idea how gloriously wonderfully non-alcoholic it taste...it's a very twee little English summer drink, the Wimbledon set squaff it and so did I once. Try it...but only if it's made by an Englishman.

And for God's sake, give Sharon one. Tab??? Holy crap..that's Pimms sacrilege....

bernthis said...

right now I would drink anything at any hour if I thought it would pay my bills

Together We Save said...

Scotch??? No way...you need to give yourself a better stash.

McGillicutty said...

OK I'm a Brit... we like Pimms but only in the right setting like in a pretty garden in the summer or at a Regatta, it's just so we look all cool and flighty. Under our skirts we have a flask of the hard stuff which will give a good buzz.
Have had many a drink at work in the good old nineties when you could do that kind of thing... and I'm with OP only do it when you can keep on doing it for the rest of the day,.... Scotch is for people with no taste buds...or sense of smell.

G. Harrison said...

Scotch in the workplace... very nice. I keep two bottles in my workshop, one an Irish blended whisky, the other a Scottish single malt. Something for fellows who drop by, something for Happy Hour (5 p.m. - Shop rules).

Would coworkers get on your case as much if it was past 5 p.m.? Maybe if it was 12 yr. old Highland Park they'd join in the tradition.

You are making it a tradition, aren't you?

GAH, back at It Strikes

Smart Mouth Broad said...

Scotch is such a grown-up drink. I'm NOT a grown-up. *sigh*

Tee aka The Diva's Thoughts said...

Uuummmm...who is Donald Draper and what in sam hill is PIMMS? Hmmmm....or should I even ask? lol

Heidi said...

I wish I could have a drink at work. I know I would be much nicer to my patients if I could. Xanax works sometimes though.