I shit you not!!! I SAW DEAD PEOPLE!!!!

Now that I totally have your attention...I would like to point out (a) I'm home; and (b) why the hell didn't anyone do anything while I was gone!?!?  WTF people!? Now I'm having to work MORE after I took a break because I was exhausted from working!!!

(and as a total aside, WHO THE HELL IS LEAVING COMMENTS IN CHINESE?!? And WHY the hell are people leaving stupid links as comments.  For the record: that is LAME!  I totally hate you, whoever you are.  You are officially dead to me.  Loser)

Okay, I'm better now.

SO, we went to Italy right?! Remember how I wasn't prepared?  Well, I really wasn't prepared.  at. all.  Wanna hear about it?  here it goes:

So Embassy told us the driver was coming to pick us up at 0100 because (as you may recall) Egypt and Algeria decided to hold their playoff match for the world cup (soccer) here in Khartoum the day I was leaving.  Ergo, as the fans from Egypt and Algeria decided to bust a cap in the ass of the mean streets of Khartoum, so Embassy realized that perhaps the airport might be "busy" with crazed fans who were too poor to stay overnight one more day in Sudan.  Or, they actually looked outside and realized they were in Sudan so they all ran for the airport to get the hell outta here.  Either way.

So, at 0100 hrs we're at Khartoum International Airport - but it should be fine, right? we're business class (I don't fly coach.  It's my new red line); however, I neglected to plan ahead (because if you recall, I didn't remember I was leaving that day) and didn't bring any booze.  FYI, KIA does not supply booze to its business class lounge.  They claimed something about Sharia Law and being an Islamic Country - I'm not really sure, wasn't really listening as I was scheming how to get back to my house and grab a flask or four - you know, just to take the edge off...

So then, because of the crazed nonsense going on - our flight did not actually DEPART Khartoum until after 0930 the NEXT DAMN DAY. 

Naturally, we missed our connecting flight in Cairo.  (Write this down:  I now officially HATE Egypt and Algieria.  They are ALSO dead to me....like that chinese guy and anonomyous)

So then we sat in the Cairo airport (the old one, not the new trendy one that has booze in its lounge) for another four hours.  I seriously considered just going back to Khartoum. 

HOWEVER, we DID make it to Rome, had a great few days there - stayed in a fab hotel right on the top of the Spanish Steps, realized that wine was actually cheaper than a cup of coffee, so I started drinking at 0930 daily (because I'm fiscally responsible like that). 

Then we rented a villa in Catania, Sicily with some friends (you remember Liz, right?? She says hi) and we cooked thanksgiving dinner in a foreign oven using the metric system for measuring and oven temperatures. 

So you're totally thinking it was a disaster, right??

NO!  It was seriously the best turkey I have EVER had (no offense daddy, but that shit rocked).  I might have been drunk, but that crap was good.

Other highlights of interest - we walked up mount etna (not much to see but lava rocks.  Can't really recommend it - plus, i got all tired and Liz and I made them leave us 3/4 of the way up the mountain while we sat there to wait for them to return from the summit - while buzzards circled our carcasses) and then the BEST PART...we drove 3 hours to Palermo, Sicily to the catacombs. 

I fully admit that I DEMANDED that we all go because I totally wanted to see the dead people.  The books all said that the catacombs had some kinda mojo that would mummify people - so the richy-riches of Sicily would have themselves hung on the wall for posperity.  So I mean, who wouldn't want to see that shit, right!?

So we finally manage to find the thing in some random ghetto in Palermo where nobody spoke English and you know I don't speak Italian - in fact, after this trip, I barely speak English anymore....  So I'm all excited, thinking...there's gonna be some dead man we can look at -- and potentially poke with a stick (because that's what you would naturally do when faced with a dead thing)

So we pay our 3 euros and go in. 

OMFG! the horror! 

There were literally HUNDREDS of bodies lining the walls...they were all dressed in their old clothes and some of them even had hair and skin still.   I shit you not!  Dead people!  Some of them were all hanging like they were talking - so of course Josh has to comment that they totally were all chatting and moving around, but the sun came up so now they're waiting for the place to close (which was like in 10 minutes at the time) until they wake up again. 

So now I'm all freaked out and I want out of there.  PLUS, the guy at the cashier's desk said that "there was something in the air and the soil" in that location that rapidly mummified the people -  so then I'm TOTALLY holding my breath because I'm sure that I'm mummifying as I'm walking through the place. 

Luckily, I didn't mummify and nobody came back from the dead.  We totally took pics (even though we weren't supposed to do so because we're AMERICANs and we're tacky)....but I'm freaked out by the pics.  UGGH.

Will post pics of Italy for your viewing pleasure whenever josh sends them to me in a format that I can easily post.  Until such time, assume it was waaay cool and now I'm back in hell.

You may resume your pity.