I am in receipt of your email informing me that you have canceled my order from 20 days ago. I am also in receipt of your subsequent email informing me that you will not be sending me anything I ordered from this account due to historical activity on the account.
I must admit that I am impressed that your website has the capability to track the locations of the internet service provider utilized by an account placing an order. I am also impressed that you keep a record of the locations account holders have logged onto the website for what seems to be infinity. I think that our homeland security elements could benefit from your unique talent and capabilities.
I am sending you this letter, however, in order to clear up what appears to be a misconception on your part with regard to your role in carrying out US policy decisions. Although I fully understand that Sudan (the location of the ISP I initially used to place some items into my cart) is currently subject to sanctions, I do not think, however, that the US government intended for you to add frilly shirts to the list of items currently under sanctions. Further, said sanctions are not intended to punish U.S. diplomats that have to LIVE in Sudan. I mean, if you stop to think about it for just a minute, you would realize that we're not your intended audience. Moreover, I do not think you need to be overly concerned that the Sudanese government (who govern Sudan under shariah law) are going to order a frilly top with cap sleeves anytime soon.
In addition, I would also like to assure you that if, for the sake of argument, the Sudanese Vice President manages to fool everyone -- and he goes to the effort to join (or in my case, marry someone in ) the US military in order to open a bank account at Navy Federal, THEN, he gets a job so that he has a credit history and they unknowingly give him a visa card, THEN he purchases a house in Northern Virginia so that he could have an address to utilize for just this occasion, and then decides he DOES want to order that frilly shirt with cap sleeves to wear to his next state dinner...So he orders it and asks for it to be sent to his address in Virginia, and THEN he flies to the states to meet that package and brings it BACK to Sudan and looks just FABULOUS at that State dinner...I'm just guessing ... you can assume that you would be safe to send him that shirt.
However, since I am in receipt of your notification, I have decided that I no longer like your frilly shirt with the cap sleeves. You may go ahead and send it to the Sudanese Vice President with my blessing.
I'm going back to my BFF, Ann Taylor.
Mocking your overpriced natural fibers,
Undaunted Courage, Plus Yarn
1 day ago