OMG! My Lie Came TRUE!

You know the old adage about where if you say something enough times that you start to believe it and then it comes true?? What? Is that just me?   Is that not an adage?  Wait.... Maybe I don't know what the hell an adage is....

ANYWAY, so I was spouting my "justifications" about how my clothes were all shrinking and how I wasn't getting fat, but it was actually society that was labeling me.  WELL, last night I received the new clothes I ordered in the mail.

Which reminds me....I started ordering crap strategically in stages so that I would ALWAYS be getting mail, but the stupid effin mail fairy has been holding everything and then giving me this big ole pile of boxes - which, at first, is all waaay cool because, I have a big ole pile o'boxes!   but then, it's not as cool because you realize you have to bring all those boxes into the house and carry them from the car while you dodge the dingos you thought were soooo adorable when they were babies and wondered what could possibly go wrong if you allowed them into the housing compound to just live in the yard. (Note to self: You are not dog whisperer.  You are not cut out to raise a pack of wild dingos.) SO THEN, after you open the first box and you're like, "Yaay! air fresheners! (listen people! Don't you judge me until you come here!  This place is effin stinky! You'd totally say that too!)  But then you're like..."oh, air fresheners...yeah..that's cool.  Smells nice."   SO you rip into the next box and you're like, "Yaay! thank you cards." then you come to your senses and you remember that you're lazy and don't like to write thank you cards and now you have no excuse NOT to write a thank you card. 

You realize you just might hate the mail fairy!  That bitch.

So anyway, my point -- where was I going with this?? Oh!  So I get a box from Ann Taylor, which is REALLY a "YAAY" and I go running upstairs to see what I ordered. (Actually, that is kinda a good thing.  It takes so long for shit to get here that you totally forget what you ordered so it is a big ole surprise when you get it and you're like, WOW! I really like this! Wonder who ordered it?!)

And then I try them on....They're all a little big. (but nobody panic, I'm sure they will shrink to unwearable size within four days.  I've decided I need to just order disposable clothes...)


SO the moral of this story (or adage) is that if you tell yourself (and others) a lie enough times, it will totally come true.

Feel free to pass that wisdom onto your kids. 

PS I'm totally rich and can quit this job.....