It's Almost That Time of Year!!!

It's almost Halloween!! I truly heart Halloween. Not even the month of scary movies with gory shit that freaks me out on TV can put me off this most sacred of candy giving out holidays!! (Plus, I don't have TV here, so it is even better this year!!) AND, if that wasn't enough to reel you into naming it the BESTEST HOLIDAY EVER, they also add in the extra bonus of someone always throws a kick-ass Halloween party where you are allowed to dress up like an idiot, get all drunk and obnoxious, and then claim it wasn't you because you were in the Cinderella costume because you're a gentle princess, not the drunken Cupid with the bow and arrows -- I mean, that would totally be immature and unprofessional! Although I totally am both of those, you obviously must have mixed me up with someone else. Someone that looks like me, but is not me. You know, that other guy -- DOOY!

Anyway, the Embassy here is going to throw a Halloween Party and they are having a costume party! And even though, I never speak to anyone in the Embassy unless I absolutely have to and/or I need something, I really think I can win this -- but obviously, it is not going to be on looks and charm. Therefore, this is why I need you guys! I need suggestions!!

Now before you guys (Otin) start throwing out things like "slutty nurse, slutty waitress, or slutty target checkout girl - please note that I am officially too old to pull off slutty -- and, dare I say it?? Perhaps a bit too chubby. Chubby slutty = desperate and lonely. Josh isn't here. I don't need labels!

Also, apparently last year, some rocket scientist decided it would be awesome to dress up like a pirate - but a Somali Pirate. So he gets all trashed at a pre-party (we don't mess around here in Sudan) and then rolls up to the gate dressed as a Somali pirate yelling and stuff. (Snaps for being in character, though)

Now, for those of you who may not know this, write this down: It is not a good idea to go to a function at a US Government installation, in a country known to have hosted Usama Bin Ladin back in the day, dressed as a terrorist with a plastic AK strapped to your back.

Apparently, the security officers and Sudanese authorities do not think it is amusing. They will let you know how unfunny you are in a Sudanese detention center. Your parting gift is a round trip ticket home.

Ergo, let's avoid any terroristy type costumes. For safety reasons.

SO, What do you got!? Those of us who are too lazy to think for ourselves need to know!

PS I've already started stocking up on Candy

PPS So far all I have found is that crappy arab candy that nobody really wants to eat so I likely won't gain 72 pounds like I do when I'm in the states and left unattended.

PPPS I also cannot go as Little Debbie (which makes me weep) because nobody here would know what the hell I was and I cannot walk around with a SIGN....

PPPPS Maybe I could....