Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Washington is Waay Stressful Yo

So, remember how I was saying, Washington is soo great...how I love it and heart the USA sooo much??

I totally didn't count on having to WORK when I came back here.  This stupid "work" is impacting my blog time and my rigorous schedule of really stupid meetings is sucking the life out of me.  Plus, I come home and think I totally have to tell you guys about something really IMPORTANT -- like (for instance) TODAY -- when i'm sitting in this meeting and I notice a bowl of little mini-toblerones - and as the people are droning on and on AND ON -- usually using words I cannot understand and don't care to learn -- I study the assortment and notice that there are actually DARK chocolate toblerones....So now I'm thinking, not only is that shit potentially yummy, if my ability to pick and choose "facts" I read on the internet is correct -- that shit is also heart healthy.  (Like my nightly serving of one bottle of red wine is...)

So then, it's really just a matter of me deciding to make a healthy choice.  And I did it.  Mostly because Josh is not there to call me on it.  And nobody really seems to be paying attention to me.  And the bowl is toward the back of the table where all the insignificant people sit -- but yet "LUCKY" to be there because my office is only allowed to send 2 people and I'm totally one of those people you guys...totally...  that's how important-ey I am these days!!  Or, I happened to be sitting at my desk when the guy who was going walked by... Either way.

Anyway, I rip open the dark chocolate toblerone and am immediately reminded why foreign candy is far, far inferior to American candy.  The little triangle shapes.  What the hell is that?? Those triangles are wasting precious chocolate surface area!!  Then, after I take a bite, I remember that it has stupid chunks of honey in it.  WTF is that?? Why the hell would you put chunks of honey in your chocolate???  (A) It's not yummy; and (B) It just gets all stuck on your teeth - because apparently european honey has takes on the same characteristics as super glue when mixed with chocolate.

So now I'm sitting in the back of the meeting picking my teeth - trying (in vain) to get the damn honey flecks off of my teeth, mentally preparing the excuse I intend to give the dentist for how I managed to pull a tooth out of my mouth trying to get the honey un-stuck -- cursing European candy makers -- and I notice that everyone is staring at me...waiting.  Apparently, they've asked me to comment on something -- to which I obviously have not been listening...So, after I game it out and realize that I cannot fake an answer, like "well, you have a good point there...I'm not really sure..." because that only works if you have been tangentially listening to the conversation -- and I was utterly focused on my "healthy choice"...  I have to admit that I was distracted by the candy. 

Let's just say they were not amused.

So long story short - once again Europe has managed to eff up US diplomacy.

And the reason I have not been posting is because I come home and open the computer -- only to immediately get this:

Seriously!  Look at that little face!?! Who can resist that!?


A Mom on Spin said...

Chocolate and honey? Yuck! I saw a bottle of chocolate wine in the liquor store the other day.

Bet those Europeans would never think of that!

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

well at first i was like all excited about the dark chocolate toblerone and then totally let down over the whole honey thing and THEN you get busted for not listening. not to mention the ugly dog picture. krap on a stick.


smiles, bee

An Open Heart said...

I got hung up on what your concept of a 'serving' of wine is....totally missed the whole point of the rest of the post...something about dark chocolate and its heart healthy aspects...? and honey?

But, the dog is adorable and I can see how that might interfere with blogging.

I'm pretty sure I won't be able to answer any questions about the post.



Midlife Jobhunter said...

I couldn't resist that face either.

A Mom on Spin said...

A minor correction on my previous comment. . .

I've just been back to the liquor store(What? I'm on vacation!) and the chocolate wine is made in Holland!


Charlene said...

Heck with that furin candy. Give me a good ole Hershey bar. Not the one with nuts, I am nuts enough. Sigh.

Nanc Twop said...

But hey, its nummy dark choc... so suckitup and suffer on thru the lumps!


Melissa V said...

It’s Friday, and that means that the Weekly State Department Blog Roundup is up – and you’re on it!

Here is the link:

(If I quoted your text or used your photo(s) and you would rather I had not, please let me know. Please also be sure to check the link(s) that I put up to you, in order to verify that they work properly. If you would rather that I had not referenced you, and/or do not want me to reference you in the future, please also contact me.)

tera said...

I would say that maybe you need to bring the treats next time, but that would include
1: you having to go to the store and
2: you having to share.

So never mind.

Ruthibelle said...

I think the chocolate is at fault here. To NOT be yummy after all it out you through is just a travesty.

Gaston Studio said...

A TOTALLY adorable doggy face there!

I, too, like to choose heart healthy and usually get dark chocolate but like the toblerones, Reese's peanut butter cups just doesn't make it with dark chocolate so I'm staying away from the toblerones. I know advice from an expert when I read it!

Anonymous said...

this website is a joke right? I mean, there is no way that the creator actually works in the foreign service, let alone has even a modicum of influence on foreign policy? God help us if this is true, because the author here should, like, totally be doing something more to her qualifications. Something like sales at the GAP?


Lovely Intuition said...

That was too funny. I likes!