Wednesday, July 14, 2010

It's Like Lookin in a Mirror...Only at a Boy!!

So yesterday, I met a kindred spirit.  It was like I was looking at me...only in boy form.  If I were a boy...and not chubby...and could do math...and thought that exercise was fun...and wanted to come to work...and cared about my know, TOTALLY JUST LIKE  me!  Who is this paragon of virtue you ask?

I have no idea.  He said his name, but I wasn't listening.  He works somewhere for the government, not sure what he does, but he did talk about his work (but again, not listening...HELLO!  Please stop making me repeat myself!).  Anyway, this guy was in one of the 72 super important meetings I attend on a daily basis here in Washington -- the heartbeat of the Nation...I'm like super clued in these days (well, technically, I would be if I actually (a) cared; and/or (b) paid attention rather than doodled "bored..bored....bored....bored..." on my notebook the whole time...) 

Anyway, this happened to be a LUNCH meeting.  Which is super rare here in DC because the government won't allow you to pay for lunch if you're just meeting with other government people -- you see we don't TOTALLY waste taxpayer money -- anyway, so lunch drags on and on while people in the room pontificate (usually about themselves, which normally I would back - but it wasn't about ME or anyone I knew -- so it was totally boring)...and this guy is sitting across the table from me.  And, much like my friend Paul, he couldn't seem to school his facial expressions:  he would roll his eyes, nod, and at one point even put his head in his hands and sighed. 

It was friggin awesome!  He had no idea that people could SEE him.  I was totally entertained. 

However, (and this is where the drama comes in) the alloted time for this super important meeting was almost at an end...and the dessert was just sitting there...staring at me...untouched.  NOBODY would shut the hell up so that I could go get the cake.

So I start fidgeting in my seat, casting furtive glances over at it's chocolatey goodness.  And I notice, that HE is also gazing at the cake and starting to fidget in his seat.  However, this guy does me one better.  He INTERRUPTS  the current pontificator and says, "Should we continue this after we all get some cake??"  (Naturally, I nod in do some of the others -- but I think it was out of boredom.  They didn't love cake.  They just wanted an excuse to stop paying attention. I could totally tell. )

So the pontificatee says, "Yes.  Of course.  We should..." THEN HE CONTINUES EFFIN TALKING.

My new best friend was obviously outraged (and rightly so)!  And he sits there for a minute, looks around the room, let's out a definite disgusted snort, and stands up to go get some cake with a muttered, "WHATEVER! I'm getting cake."  Naturally, his brave act of heroism allowed others (like myself) to make a beeline for the cake. while the pompous ass continued to talk.  (Seriously dude, I don't think he even realized and/or cared that nobody was listening.  WTF!?) 

When the meeting adjorned.  I walked up to my new best friend, pointed at him, and said..."I like you.  You got style." 

So my point is: (a) there ARE good people left in Washington; and (b) cake is friggin yummy.


unmitigated me said...

When we have a staff meeting, my boss takes up 3/4 of it with her presentation, then interrupts everyone else trying to make theirs in the remaining 20 minutes. But I bring little candy bars.

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

i live for those "cake" moments...

smiles, bee

fojoy said...

Cake is the only thing that makes meetings worthwhile!

Mom in High Heels said...


Charlene said...


I prefer pie, but make cakes and it always makes the mood better when I take them in to work.

McGillicutty said...

Love should have meetings about cake and discuss any other biz incidentally. That make more sense.

Life with Kaishon said...

Oh my gosh. This story was SOOOOOO good. I loved every word.
I also love cake. Unfortunately! Darn it!

Paige said...

here in the great state of illinois, we are afraid to get cake (that we brought since God knows the state won't pay) for fear it is a trap that will either cut our hands off or take our paychecks back

do you ever get red velvet cake? I might would gnaw an arm out of a trap for that

Hatandgloves said...

You are hilarious. I love your description of the boy who is exactly like you. I laughed a lot. Especially when you were so excited to see the 'boy' react in a way as if no-one was watching him. I completely and fully relate to your serious desire and determination to have the cake and admire your wondrous descriptions.