Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Public Service Announcement....

So you know how I mentioned that I hated working?? (And frankly, I'm starting to think that work is beginning to realize that they might actually hate me equally as much...)  Well, I decided that perhaps I should start thinking about other options -- you know, the option where I get a lotta money, but don't actually have to go to work??  That one...   And, since none of you freaks have decided to give me millions of dollars, I'm forced to actually think about potential options. 

So I went online to do comprehensive research on my potential options.  However, I got distracted by a huge summer sale at Ann Taylor -- but I couldn't find the right shoes for the new outfit, so then I had to research black strappy summer shoes...

Now I not only have to identify my non-work option, but also the "second job to pay for the damn shoes you insist on buying" as was recently "suggested" by my loving husband...

And then it came to me: Powerball!!! I would simply win the powerball!!! It was so simple, it was BRILLIANT!!!

Turns out...Powerball is not the sure thing that I assumed it was....turns out, Powerball does NOT actually give you millions of dollars in exchange for a $1 ticket...In actuality, what I think happens, is you pay some random man in a convenience store $1 for a piece of paper with
some numbers written on it.  However, -- and here is\ where I can see that the problem with my Powerball career begins -- that Man is not giving me the right numbers. 

Worst part of this scam:  When you go back to The Man and ask for a refund because he gave you the wrong numbers...be prepared for him to put on an act like he is all confused...and when I patiently explain  where he has made a mistake....he has the nerve to get all snippy with me! 

WTF POWERBALL!? Obviously, you don't care about customer service!  See if I buy your piece of paper with worthless numbers again!!! 

Eff U Quickie Mart Man!!  Gimme my damn dollar back!!  I suspect Quickie Mart Man is in cahoots with the Ice Nazi at the cafeteria at work. 

They owe me $1.10.  I'm not leaving until I get it back!!!

14 comments:

wendy said...

I keep saying we need to buy a powerball ticket, but The Husband keeps correcting me by saying we need to buy a winning powerball ticket. I always seem to leave that detail out (which is why we are both still working...).

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

i KNEW it! as soon as i started reading this i said to myself, self, that has ice nazi written all over it. yeesh. that sucks. really.

and i heard they call that powerball game the redneck retirement plan. i have no idea why.

smiles, bee
xoxoxoxoxoxo

Suburban Correspondent said...

Very disappointing - I guess you'll just have to continue being a wage slave like the rest of us.

Pastor Sharon said...

Oh my! I come over here after being in hiding or whatever that was I was doing, and I find out you have been pay some guy a dollar to give you a piece of paper with numbers on it!

Being the compassionate person I am, maybe we should hold a board meeting at the church to see about picking you up in our foreign missions collections. Hmmmmm......I don't know. . . . sounded good when I thought it. Then. . . I realized all that money would probably end up in a closet full of cute, strappy sandles for a new wardrobe down at Ann Taylor's house and you still would be working!

Hi Sista! I have missed you!

Charlene said...

All I have to say is: Ommmmm Ommmmm

Repeat while sitting quietly in a dark room without sound or techno toys.

Ommmmm.

Picture Perfect Window Coverings said...

It is all in the luck of the draw. Are you allowed to pick your own numbers?

Mom in High Heels said...

I have this same issue. I don't want just a ticket, I want the ticket that wins. It's a conspiracy.

tera said...

So that's where you've been...stalking Ann Taylor! :)

Gaston Studio said...

Darn, I wish you had told us this before now. I've been spending a whole damn dollar every week, not knowing it was a setup!

Jane

Jason, as himself said...

I have never once played this or any other kind of lottery. I guess I'm just not foot loose enough or fancy free enough.

McGillicutty said...

Oh you are so on the wrong track, the powerball is for pussy's.
Apparently the only sure fire way to win at the Lottery is to buy a roll of about three hundred scratch offs. I read it on a blog somewhere so therefore it has to be true!!!
hee hee.

Everyday Goddess said...

Actually you have to play a $2 bet, that way when you match the numbers, you get a bigger payout.

But forget it. Stay out of the Powerball games. I have long ago intended to win. If you promise to, I'll buy your shoes for you out of my winnings. I'm nice like that.

dors said...

why is it that when someone else buys a lottery ticket we think it could never happen. and when we buy a lottery ticket, we genuinely but secretly think we will win? why?

Slika said...

I think I get the picture: buy a ticket; look at it for a day; then throw it away.