Monday, August 2, 2010

So Yeah....I'm Not Here.

Remember how I was saying that work was bringing me down because they kept expecting me to actually work while I was there?? How they kept asking me to DO stuff?? And how that is obviously totally unfair?

Well, I went ahead and took matters into my own hands!! I marched right in there into my  new boss' office and I said, "NOW YOU LOOK HERE..."  -- okay, so maybe I said something more like, "Hi Sir.  Do you have a minute?" -- well, he had a minute.  A minute to say, "Are you busy right now?"  Which is CLEARLY a trap....much like when a girl asks , "Do these pants make me look fat?" (HINT JOSH: Correct answer:  NO!  Have you lost weight?)  or "Notice anything different?"  (HINT JOSH: my hair is likely 6 inches shorter than it was when you left that morning!!! SHEESH!)

Anyway, back to my point - so I -- being the experienced USG employee that I am -- immediately responded that I was extremely busy!  But then I ruined it all by adding, "Why? Do you need something?" (I totally shouldn't have added that last part! When the hell am I going to learn to quit while I'm ahead).

He needed something. 

So I'm currently in Kuwait.  Remember how I said Sudan was hot?? Well, Kuwait is that same temperature (for those of you who don't recall my bitch-fest that was Sudan, the daily median temperature was equal to the surface of the sun) but then, because God obviously still hates me, he added 97% humidity...just to make it more fun.

So far, I have had minimal interaction with the locals -- which is probably why there has not yet been an international incident here ...but give it time...give it time.

Will post some pics (of the dirt and US fast food chains) that appears to be Kuwait City later. You know how I love to give you guys a feel for the culture and/or my hotel room.  Whichever.

20 comments:

Fragrant Liar said...

WHAT!? You're back in the Middle East wreaking havoc? Girlfriend, you are a glutton for punishment. And sand.

Did Josh get to come too?

Captain Dumbass said...

You'd think that, given the current situation in that corner of the world, they'd keep you home. Possibly underground.

Suburban Correspondent said...

Dammit, I WANT YOUR JOB! Any place is better than DC in August.

wendy said...

Hmmm...this has the potential for many an evening spent laughing as you recount your adventures. I WILL stay tuned!!!!!

Anonymous said...

What?!?! Oh honey. My chief doesn't even know my name and I'm totally okay with that. My DH thinks that's weird, but I keep telling him, that's why I actually get to come home on time every day. Otherwise, lord only knows what he'd have me doing. Also, we rotate chiefs through here about every 4.5 months and only about every 3rd one every learns my name, so I'm completely invisible most of the time. And I'm okay with that.

Betty (the invisible fed employee)

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

sigh... you poor thing. are you going to bring me something back?

smiles, bee
xoxoxoxoxoxo

Shannon Tucker Photography said...

I don't normally watch the news...but, I will be glued to the tube now.....

on a more sympathetic note....sorry you got sent to the middle east.


S

CarrieAnn said...

What?! I was pretty excited about being on the same continent with you and everything.

Charlene said...

One good thing; the locals driving the luxury cars aren't Iraqi's!

Tee aka The Diva's Thoughts said...

Gee whiz girly! I think you may never get back to the states.

Vancouver's Enviro Girl said...

Me: Can I do something for you?

NORMAL Boss: oh yes, could you files these papers?

You: Can I help you?

YOUR Boss: well, since you asked.

You to neighbour: Yeah, can you water my plants for me? I have to go out of town on a quick trip. To mother-effing Kuwait.

Obviously we lead extremely similar lives. Unless you count that whole war-zone thing.

Juli Ryan said...

A friend of mine went to Kuwait for work. He said it's a shithole. In August, Kuwait must be the seventh circle of hell. Clearly, your boss hates you.

tera said...

I'm with Betty...you need to practice your invisibility skills, girlfriend.

Besides, what the eff is so important in Kuwait?! Sheesh. It's not like there's any major shopping sales there.

franzi said...

kuwait...oh wow...i don't know what you did wrong or how you annoyed your boss but it worked ;-)

how long are you staying?

Fragrant Liar said...

I'm totally waiting for those pictures, girlfriend. Or are you fraternizing with all the American GI's leaving Iraq via Kuwait? Hmmm? If so, I insist you do take photos! This girl loves a man in uniform. I'm partial to birthday suits, but camo works too.

tera said...

Just a warning: if you don't come back soon I'm going to have to go stalk someone else! :)

tera said...

When are you coming baaaaaaack? For your information, if you don't come back soon, I'm going to have to stalk someone else.

Doreen F. McCabe said...

you are so funny. can't stop laughing. but I need to hear more from you? did you get lost in Kuwait or are you on a black ops??
doreenmccabe.blogspot.com
come back and write more..... do it from work so you can rest when you get home.

Anonymous said...

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exactly the same in the past? Keep up the great work!

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