I've Been Busy!!!

Okay, no I haven't.  I've been LAZY.  Really lazy.  Lazy to the point that I still refuse to actually get dressed in clothing that is not sweat pants.  However, I have an excuse -- and a really good one too...seriously, it's acceptable....sorta...okay, well, I accepted it...Josh: not so much.  But I'm still on home leave - remember?? The leave where I am supposed to become American again (Josh didn't get any because he's learning to speak gibberish.  That doesn't count.) AND, what says "American" more than sweat pants from Target?? NOTHING DOES! 

God I love Target.

I just had to get that out there.  Target rocks.  And, this is really exciting (probably only to me, but I don't care.  This shit's HUGE!)....Target has GROCERIES and Starbucks!!!  I distinctly recall getting all annoyed before I went overseas that I had to drive to target AND THEN to a grocery store....Target obviously cares about my needs and supports my laziness!

Now, I can go to my local Target (which is conveniently located less than 3 blocks from me) and not only can I get a new pair of sweat pants and the cordless vacuum I have clearly always needed, but never stopped to realize that I wanted until I walked my cart by the vacuum section...

Seriously, can you guys spell vacuum?? Are there two damn U's or two C's??? WTF?  From this day forward, I'm calling it a DIRTSUCKERUPPER....if a word's too hard to spell, we're just not going to use it anymore.  I don't need that kinda stress, frankly. 

ANYWAY, after I put my dirtsuckerupper into my cart with the furminator and lint rollers, I can just stroll over and pick up milk...and milk duds (WHAT?!?!?!  They're Organic Milk duds -- although it doesn't actually say it on the box, I'm sure they are....Duds don't need pesticides.  Therefore, they're healthy.  You don't know.)

Seriously, I heart you Target!  You complete me.

Anyway, other than my regular visitation to Target, I've been attempting to get Cable and Internet.  As you may have guessed I now have internet (I had cable for one day, and it left me today.  I'm not sure what I said or did, but I'm SORRY Cable!! Come back to me DVR!!  I can't watch commercials!? WTF!?  I can change!  Honestly, I can.  And, I have milk duds...I'm just saying...it's not all bad here.) 

I would like to point out, however, that I arrived in Sudan on 22 March 2009.  I had internet on 23 March 2009.  I arrive in the US on 15 April 2010.  I managed to get internet on 11 May....you do the math.  (no seriously, math is hard.  You're going to have to do it.  I can't. )  I can only assume that there is only one man who does the cable/internet installation for the entire state of Virginia.  He's obviously busy....AND, God help you if you miss his phone call...they cancel your installation if you don't answer - so I've been answering every call on my stupid phone. 

Josh, would you like to explain how Sport and Health, World Vision, the Toyota and Nissan dealerships and YOUR dentist managed to get my phone number?? If I get one more call that opens with  "We're trying to reach Joshua..." 

Not to worry though...I realized you were probably sad because nobody was calling your phone.  So I contacted the Jehovah's Witnesses and told them you were interested in hearing about their faith....and went online and expressed "interest" in learning more about Abilify and left them your phone number.  I'm not sure what it does, but I know I have not been given a prescription for it (yet)...I might need it.

Please let me know what they say.....