Monday, April 12, 2010

Why Can't I Ever Think of Cool Stuff to Say!?

Okay, so you know how we're in the midst of national elections here in Sudan, right?? No?  GSO didn't either.  It's nothing to be ashamed of.... However, I gotta admit that I'm a bit disappointed.  Why?? Because after all the hulabaloo and over-analysis of every statement or gesture from the various political parties, what has happened here in Khartoum, the heart of Sudan, the pointy tip of the spear??

NOTHING. 

I'm actually not really sure that we remembered to tell the Sudanese it was their first national election in over twenty years and that it was supposed to be contentious.  They don't really seem to know. There were supposed to be angry protesters, we were given emergency supplies for when the shit hit the fan.  So what did I see today, or for that matter, yesterday??  NOTHING DAMNITT!

I was promised an uprising! 

Now how am I supposed to start all my conversations with, "No Shit! There I was..."  when the rest of the sentence is "watching people line up in an orderly fashion to vote."   That shit's just embarrassing!

WTF Sudan!?  You couldn't even turn over one measly car?? Maybe light some trash on fire and yell arabic words really loud?? (Arabic always sounds like you're kinda angry.) 

SELFISH!!!

Now what am I supposed to say?? Did you ever think about ME Sudan??   Well, I certainly hope you enjoy your peaceful elections, Sudan!  WHATEVER!

Anyway, so I'm all spouting my nonsense, trying to see if I can get Christina to look like maybe she could have been part of an angry mob and someone has to go and ruin everything with the comment:

You see that woman? She carries her house on her head, her baby on her back, and the future of her country in her hand. (about a nomad who showed up to vote)


WHO THE HELL THINKS OF ELOQUENT SHIT LIKE THAT TO SAY!?  

Worst part?  It was not me.

17 comments:

That one girl said...

Oh man, sucks when you expect a rock show and get elevator music.

That was like when the Democratic Convention came to Denver. We expected the worst . They even made sure all the bars were equipped with plastic handcuffs to citizen arrest people.

So, after the calm got calmer and everyone left, we scored some cuffs from our favorite bartender and used them for a 'What would you do for a dollar?" birthday party. Thanks Dems.

Middle Aged Woman said...

So, you shot 'em right? Cause that shit deserves shooting. Just sayin'.

mo.stoneskin said...

Maybe the eloquency would come if you had that beer you are longing for?

Charlene said...

I guess democracy is not wanted by every country out there. Sometimes I don't think Americans like democracy. Listening to the Tea Party people it would seem they'd be happy witha Neilson Poll.

blognut said...

I can't believe those insensitive Sudanese people rained on your parade. It's an outrage!!!

Reddirt Woman said...

And people have the audacity to call us Americans rude...

Helen

Ruthibelle said...

wow ... but that quote IS eloquent. Deep.

Yeah. I know the feeling. Disappointment after promised excitement fails to show up. But you know what?? The people of Sudan have seen so many days of 'excitement', I think they got all they coukld handle with calm and peaceful elections... hmmm...

tera said...

"No Shit! There I was, in Sudan during the election when suddenly, and without warning (no SHIT!) I was very nearly bored to death!"

Hahahaha!
You crack me up. Only you would want tragedy so you would have something to say.

tera said...

Oh, wait, I guess that would be you, and CNN and all the rest of the news whores.

tera said...

Not that you're a whore. Or that I'm even calling you a whore...

tera said...

Damn...I owe you, what, like three bottles of Bakon Vodka now, eh?

Fragrant Liar said...

Have you gone crazy, my Silly Sudanese Sister? You ALWAYS say cool stuff. It's the eloquent part that you're getting a D- on. But I forgive you cuz you consistently make me cackle, which scares everyone around me, which earns you mega points! So, you're back up to A+!! See how that all works? Keep it up and you'll earn that degree yet!

P.S. I thought you were hightailing it outta town? Are the GSO playin' witchu, or what?

Heather said...

I observed the Kurdish elections in Iraq last year and the closest thing I got to excitement was hearing celebratory gunfire that night. What a letdown.

One who has been changed said...

Nothing like reading what a person thinks to see where their heart is and what road they are on ....Before going to much further down that road you might want to at least read the book of John in the Bible. That way you will know place the road ends at and how to move to the road going the other way. At very least will be no surprise in the end. Life is short and eternity is forever. God loves you and His son Jesus the Christ died for our sins, so we would not have to pay the price. May you chose well.

Susan said...

YOU cannot talk about selfish. Because YOU are leaving Sudan before I've even had half a chance to send you the Little Debbie's and cake and and and...you only gave me your address six months ago. What in hell do you expect from those of us who worship you and the words you write? My children ate the first batch of Little Debbie's. We ate the pecan pie at Christmas. Sheesh, woman, be patient!!!

Bret said...

I know EXACTLY how you feel. We went through this in Gabon in September. There were supposed to be riots & uprisings...instead we had too much food in the house because we stocked up unnecessarily. I can't speak for Sudan, but they don't have uprisings at the polls here because all of the votes are generally purchased before the polls open.

A Daring Adventure said...

It's Friday, and that means that the Weekly State Department Blog Roundup is up - and you're on it!

Here is the link:

http://bit.ly/9eiR0S

(If I quoted your text or used your photo(s) and you would rather I had not, please let me know. Please also be sure to check the link(s) that I put up to you, in order to verify that they work properly. If you would rather that I had not referenced you, and/or do not want me to reference you in the future, please also contact me.)

Thanks!