Thursday, April 8, 2010

It's Like Sudan WANTS Me to Mock It...

Before I start my rant on how I am currently in a living hell and why it is all Josh's fault *we'll save that for tomorrow*...I just HAVE to show you guys one of the going away gifts I received yesterday.  I'm now trying to figure out if Sudan hates me and is trying to kill me....or they're just helping to ensure I have some final blog fodder before I bust up out of this mother effer....

Because mere words simply could never do it justice...I'll just post it and let you guys see for yourselves.... 


 My new purse....



That shit's sooo authentic, they even added the crocodile ass to the backside....




And, just in case you thought maybe it was just a tacky design, a close up for you.  Notice the snaggle tooth...The teeth are actually stabby! 

I named him Joe.

I'm guessing Canada is calling Peta right now to have them meet me at the airport.  However, I don't think even Peta will know what to do...they'd want to throw paint on me, but would be worried that Joe would attack them back.  (He would.)

Sooo, Sudan gave me Joe yesterday and I simply had to photograph him because nobody would ever believe me if I didn't.  I brought Joe home, told Josh we're going to have to make sure we have extra room for pets in our house.  But I made Joe sleep outside on the patio and I locked the door.  You just KNOW Joe is just waiting until we're not looking, then he'll sneak up and try to kill me while I'm sleeping!!!!  I swear one of the local guards is missing this morning.   That is BAD Joe!  BAD!

Just look at him... Just sitting there smirking at us....pondering if I would be delightfully marbled or just too fatty to eat...  EFF U JOE!

 Joe's totally not getting a visa.

18 comments:

mo.stoneskin said...

Do you need to purchase a ticket for Joe too? Or just a visa? What will you fill in on the customs form? I hope Joe doesn't turn out to be a terrorist.

Frau said...

I hope Joe has all his shots and proper documentation before leaving the country. Yikes that is one scary ass purse.....can you imagine the looks you are gonna get using that in Canada!!

Mala said...

BWAHAHAHAHAH! Road kill purse!

A Daring Adventure said...

Funniest! Thing! Ever!!

Oh, *tell me* those red eyes are fake. Please??

Linda said...

Do they use the crocodile baby mama for the rest of the purse, since Joe doesn't look big enough to provide it all?

blognut said...

You were right to post the picture. I never would've believe it otherwise.

That is unconditionally, the most frightening handbag I have ever seen. I would keep my shit in my pockets if that was the last bag on earth. Swear to God.

darsden said...

OMG!!! yes there are just a few more mocking days left for Sudan... they have out done themselves with this one though!

Jason, as himself said...

Delightfully marbled!!!

My jaw is wide open now and it has been stuck that way since I first saw these pics.

No freaking way!

See what I mean? Blog topics just THROW themselves at you in Sudan! Would this happen in Virginia? Again, I say, NO.

Ruthibelle said...

oh my... how, um, shiny. xD

sb.marianna said...

you should be proud of Joe!
ou ain't gonna find anything kihe him in the US!
What do you feed him? :)

Connie said...

Keep on Joe's good side and you won't have to worry about purse-snatchers.

A Daring Adventure said...

It's Friday, and that means that the Two Month Blogiversary of the Weekly State Department Blog Roundup is up - and you're on it!

Here is the link:

http://bit.ly/aZJeOz

(If I quoted your text or used your photo(s) and you would rather I had not, please let me know. Please also be sure to check the link(s) that I put up to you, in order to verify that they work properly. If you would rather that I had not referenced you, and/or do not want me to reference you in the future, please also contact me.)

Thanks!

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tera said...

...

um

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does he have to be quarantined when you come back home?

Sidra said...

LOL i love love love your blog! I'm applying to be an FSO (about to turn in my PNQ) and I love reading your real version of what goes on. How the hell did u get stuck in SUDAN? haha, I hope you still get to write funny things when you are back in DC, otherwise, I'll just go through your archives to entertain myself.

And seriously, what kind of a purse is that??!

Andre said...

Lol, loved the post and actually find the purse..uhm...cute...lol...and probably a good way to remember hell...
On the positive side... the people there really do love you, don't ever think anything else... The people they don't like, they give them a suitcase instead of a purse and see them off personally to the airport....try explaing that to customs in Canada....hahahaha
Good post!

Added Entry said...

Love the purse -- haven't seen one like that in eons and even more eons.

Take good care of little Joe, he might get rainspots. [Sometimes a problem with reptile purses not from Hermes.] In those long ago days, practical advice was to carry a plastic bag to protect the little one from a sudden shower.

Sirmelja said...

This is me Laughing My Freakin' Ass Off!!:-)