Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Free At Last!!!!

Soooo...you recall how last week I said that I was OUT of there on the 15th, right?? (Just in time to set foot in the states on the DAY that taxes are due, essentially forfeiting my right to an automatic 2 month extension because I'm overseas)....well, as you may have noticed...there was a large volcano that was spewing volcanic ash...So.....

NO SHIT! There I was....trapped in Europe....unable to get a flight back to the US!  So, because Josh and I love America just that much -- we rented a car and we drove to Morocco, then we hopped on a ferry to Egypt where we joined a camel train down to Cairo, and from there, we took a plane to Dubai then flew back to the US via Japan....WHEW! What a journey!!

Okay, nothing happened.  We were actually the last flight to make it out of Europe before they shut all the shit down.  There was a group of obnoxious businessmen who were on the flight to Chicago that was canked!  Ha HA! SUCKAHS!!

HOWEVER, my in flight entertainment totally did not work.  I was forced to read and/or make conversation with my husband for the ENTIRE flight.  (God Bless Kindle!!) (tee hee).

So now, I'm sitting in a hotel room, after buying two cars (seriously! If I'm giving you a damn check, just give me the damn car!!!  Why the hell does that take FOUR HOURS!?) finding a home, and a gym to join (after I noticed that chubby girls with bad hair are not as fashionable in the US as they are in Sudan). 

Plus, would it have killed one of you to let me know that it is no longer cool to expect the store to bag your groceries?? That EVERYONE has those recycle bags??  WTF people!?  Now I looked like a damn chubby, ratty Sudan infested clothing wearing, bad hair having, resource wasting, Earth Killer!   I'm just sayin...a head's up would have been appropriate. 

So, believe it or not, I gots NOTHING to bitch about.  America Rocks and I am reacquiring my obsession with TV.  (I totally missed you Jack McCoy!)  However, rest easy my friends...I'm going to go join a gym here -- I'm sure SOMEONE will insult me soon enough...mark my words...there's an unspeakable outrage in my future....

21 comments:

An Open Heart said...

Welcome home! yay, you! Sorry about the lack of heads up on the changes around here...you know us American's, we just take shit for granted, eh?

Serioulsy, welcome home!

S

blognut said...

Welcome home, Michel! Although, I gotta tell ya', Jack McCoy is totally out of style and you'll have to stop that shit right now. Also? Most of the stores not only expect you to bag your own groceries in your very own "brought-it-from-home" recycle bag, but also to ring up your own groceries. This is why Mr. Blognut does our grocery shopping; this is just to much work for me. You should strike a deal with Josh.

Suzy said...

Welcome home! And here in Hollywood you can bring your cloth bags and hand them to the bag boy or girl and they will fill them for you. Of course a can of soup costs $12.98 but WHATEVER.

A Daring Adventure said...

Welcome HOME!!! We've's totally missed you, so YO to you, and I'm all glad that you're not seriously trapped in Europe and sittin' on a camel train! EFF THAT!

(Okay, so, I guess that's my best attempt at writing like Funny as Hell Michel.) :)

Captain Dumbass said...

This post was a little too happy.

Melanie's Randomness said...

Welcome back!! I've been a follower for a long time so I'm glad to hear you got home save & sound!!

flask said...

welcome home.

if you stop being funny it will mess me up.

for this reason, i am spending my considerable personal fortune to flood your neighborhood with annoying people.

have a nice day.

Linda said...

Welcome back. I am looking forward to the happiness wearing off and hearing about your annoying coworkers.
Hmm, that didn't sound very nice. I really don't want you to be unhappy, just keep writing your good stuff!

We'll give you some time to come back to earth.

Suburban Correspondent said...

Welcome back!

Kanta said...

Kantahanan is the home of every song. The word kantahanan is derived from the tagalog words "Kanta" which means "Song" and "Tahanan" which means "Home".

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Mom in High Heels said...

Hooray for being back in America. Please go to Target for me. Drink it in. Tell me what it's like. I love living in Europe, but ye gods how I miss Target!

mo.stoneskin said...

I'm glad to read that after such an epic journey the first thing you do is find yourself a gym. Good grief. Why didn't you find yourself some beer first? Get your priorities right girl.

otin said...

You are back?? For Good? OMG! Congrats to you! Jack and Kernel are probably wagging their asses off!

tera said...

Yea!!!

tera said...

Oh yah, and when are you going to post the video of you doin' the "I'm back" Happy Dance?

Holly Renee said...

Ha! I didn't even think about the bags at the grocery store. I always feel like a dink when I forget mine.

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

Happy to hve you back on the home turf.

Here's your head up. Get Netflix. Watch all the seasons of Weeds, Californication, True Blood, and Dexter.

Take time out to get to a pub and have a beer or Mo's head will spin.

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Jason, as himself said...

I'm so glad you're back! Although not entirely. I will miss Sudan.