Sunday, April 11, 2010

Dear GSO (the Final Edition),

I just wanted to send you one last note to let you know that Josh and I have officially completed our pack out.  Although i have to admit I was a tad bit miffed that you called me at 7pm to let me know that you have decided that you needed to move my pack-out date to the next morning because you found out that the Sudanese Government was hosting National Elections beginning on the 11th. 

Although I admit I was a bit confused why your office was not notified by any of the 250,000 emails which circulated around the Embassy on the issue, or in the 27 newspapers that published the dates of the elections and the relevant drama surrounding the event on a daily basis since the day I arrived here at post, the news coverage on CNN, al-Jazira,  and BBC, the 472 billboards plastered around town asking everyone to vote for Bashir, or even the Comprehensive Peace Agreement that was signed years ago that outlined the dates of the national elections -- obviously, there has been a failure of communication somewhere along the way.  I apologize that you were not given advance notice of this event.

It must have been very inconvenient for you.

As such, I find I cannot blame you for giving me what amounted to less than 12 hours to prepare all my shit for pack-out.  Although I suspect you were in cahoots with Josh, who claimed he could not stay home to assist with the pack-out because he did not have time to cancel his very important activities -- I simply cannot prove it (but I will.  Rest assured, I will.)

Why, it's not your fault that I threw all my shit into two randomly chosen suitcases, and then ran around trying to figure out what I needed for air freight and what could wait to go with the rest of my household effects in an effort to prepare for the movers.  And, you will be pleased to hear that, in a total change of your responsiveness to my multiple requests throughout the year, your officers decided to show up at my house TWO HOURS early to pack me out. 

I was really pleased to see them there.  Early.  For the first time in their life.  Ever. 

So GSO, we're departing this week and you will not have to read anymore of my emails requesting your assistance.  I just wanted to let you know that I sincerely appreciate everything you have done for me this year (no I don't). 

I assume since you've been so helpful to me during my time in Sudan, that is the reason you are now asking me to fill out a survey for the support I received from your office.  Believe me, this is one Survey, I intend to fill out (in triplicate). 

Best of luck to you in your future efforts to make other diplomats miserable,



Fragrant Liar said...

Does GSO mean Gods, Sorcerers, and Ogres? Or Gods of the Suckily Organized? Or perhaps, Grundles, Smuttles, and Oob-a-doops? (Refer to Urban Dic for those...)

Either way, that was just incredibly rude of them to wait till the last minute to tell you. It would serve them right if you went home.

Oh. You ARE going home! Yay!


tera said...

I like Gods of the Suckily Organized.
Except I might use a different "s" word...:)

Glad you are coming "home", and I expect to see you at my house for 'ritas and BBQ soon!!

Jill said...

I'm not entirely convinced that your GSO isn't ours - just doing double duty. Come to think of it, ours has been gone an awful lot lately...

Nanc Twop said...

Twelve hours notice... and then they show up two hours early???

Is that survey envelope big enough so that you can also include a present for those helpful GSO folks?... Something that looks a lot like an alligator turned into a purse with snaggy teeth?


Connie said...

Just keep on thinking of all the karma points you've earned... your next post OWES you.

mo.stoneskin said...

Good job you have Joe to help pack then. Or is the lazy bastard just sitting around doing nothing?

blognut said...

Yay! You're coming home!

You aren't going to bring Joe onto this continent, are you? Wait! Maybe you should, but send it to Canada, (they know what they did).

Fragrant Liar said...

Who the hell is Joe?