Sudanese Official: Did you have a nice time on your vacation?
Me: Oh yes! It was fabulous...so much grass and trees. It was just lovely.
Sudanese Official: silence
Me: Oh....well, Khartoum is really nice and all, I mean, the people are soooo friendly. I had a great time and all, but I missed Sudan and was ready to come back (no I wasn't).
Sudanese Official: Uh-hmmm...well....
Me: Luckily, the Embassy is hosting a St. Patrick's Day Party tonight...you know, to ease my transition from vacation back to work. I mean, you can't just go back cold turkey you know.
Sudanese Official: Cold turkey??
Me: (Jebus Dude! Don't you have to leave???) Umm.....just jump right back in to being in Sudan....
Sudanese Official: (offended look)
Me: (SHIT!) not IN Sudan, you know....work....ummm...working.
Me: I'm umm....I'm lazy.
Sudanese Official: (cough) What is this St. Patrick's Day??
Me: Oh? Well, it's a day dedicated to St. Patrick...he's a catholic Saint.....from.....Ireland....or the UK...wait! It might have been just Ireland. I can never remember which part is which...it's too confusing. But he's an Irish Saint. ... He wore green...
Sudanese Official: What did he do?
Me: Ummm...I think...ummm....well, he was a saint. Good guy. Helped the Irish, and maybe the British, oh....probably not the British. Nobody really knows for sure. They weren't the UK at that time, so he might have helped the British, but he probably didn't know they were British.
Sudanese Official: But what did he do??
Me; Umm....I think he gave the Irish people beer and green clovers. Ummm.. they didn't have any. Maybe a lucky charm....
Sudanese Official: (silence)
Me: Well, maybe not green beer...I think that's new. But ...the important part is that we have a party. And it is fun. ....Ummm...I can't wait. ....heh heh hmm....should be fun. yaay.
Sudanese Official: So you drink alcohol for a religious holiday?
Me: Well, yes. It's an IRISH holiday. It's their way. I'm not here to judge. But it's not just that...I mean, we wear green and there is traditional food...
Sudanese Official: What is the traditional food?
Me: (SHIT!) Ummm....there's corned beef and cabbage and ....ummm...Irish Stew....ummm...boiled potatoes.
Sudanese Official: Corned beef? What is this corned beef????
Me: Oh...corned beef? Well, it's beef...that is corned. They corn it....you know, the beef. Corned...
Sudanese Official: You mean they put corn with beef?
Me: No. It's corned. I dunno. The Irish like to corn their beef. ummm...it's not not yucky.
Sudanese Official: Not yucky??
Me: Well, I'm not sure it's really good per se...but it's not BAD. I mean, I don't choose it most times, but I think cause I'm not really sure how to make it. And I forget it's there most of the time. It's kinda salty. Like jerky, but not hard and chewy. But with cabbage.
Sudanese Official: So you drink and eat salty beef? To honor a saint?? I don't understand. How does that honor him?
Me: I mean....it's not that bad. I mean, you make it sound like it's silly or something. It's not. That's not ALL...we also....well, we....you know....we wear green.
Sudanese Official: Oh.
Sudanese Official: Well then...have a nice time.
Me: (SHIT! Sorry America...and Ireland...I'll stop talking to people....)
Sometimes? I'm Judgmental. Also, Seattle!
3 hours ago