Thursday, March 25, 2010

Dear Internet Pharmacist,

I am writing you this note to thank you sooo much for the prescriptions you sent me for Adderall and Xanax.  Imagine my surprise and utter delight that these little blessings from internet pharmacy heaven also come in a tasty chocolate flavor.  Although I was a little bit confused when I I opened the first package to find that you had mixed the two together in one package, I figured that is what you pharmacists do when you ship in bulk.  I mean, when you're shipping that many to one address you really shouldn't have to worry about counting them all.  I mean, it filled the baggie - we'll call it good. 



I must say, however, that you should probably think about writing a strongly worded letter to the Pharmaceutical company your internet pharmacy uses.  They seemed to have spelled Adderall wrong and also Xanax.  Granted, not everyone is an internet certified WebMD like myself, however, I would have guessed that pharmaceutical companies would have spell check capability. 




I'm not complaining mind you.  Don't get me wrong.

Also, I wonder was it necessary to label each pill as Michel's Adderall and/or Michel's Xanax??? What if I wanted to share with someone in need here -- hahaha! I know, that sounds totally silly as we've already established that I do not share. 

Ever. 

However, on the off chance, that I wanted to impress my WedMD customers or "Patients" as I like to call them, it would be very difficult for me to dispense these drugs without them knowing that I am also on these drugs (which cannot possibly inspire confidence in your WebMD, frankly.)  I'm just saying....for future reference....you might want to think about Spell Check and leaving the Name off of the individual pills.  You know...for Safety Reasons....

And finally, I just wanted to let you know -- you know, for customer feedback and all -- that I am not really seeing the results I was promised in the latest issue of Us Weekly with the Adderall.  Maybe it was the generic "Addermall" and "Xanadu" brand, but I'm not really feeling that zen or losing any weight like the movie stars do.  I've even upped my dosage to one handful of each per day....and in the interest of full disclosure, I pretty much almost finished one whole package.  Perhaps I need some sort of instruction manual on how many to take and at what intervals.  I mean...they almost taste like candy...those drugs are just. that. good.

Anyway, just wanted to send you a note to say thank you sooo much for my Rx care package.  I have been recommending my internet pharmacist to all my friends.  Normally, this would probably result in an increase in business for  you and your internet pharmacy, however, I totally forgot that I hate other people.  So word hasn't gotten around as one would assume.

Wishing you the best in your internet pharmacy career,

Michel
Internet WebMd   

25 comments:

A Daring Adventure said...

SCREAMING with laughter!!!!!!!!

Oh my heavens, how I adore your blog.

Promise me - O promise me - that you will ALWAYS BLOG!!!!

ROTFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Middle Aged Woman said...

Madderall and Manax? Silly...those are the generic versions. I understand there was a special clause in the health care reform bill regarding Michel's little helpers. So you're covered.

Tiffany said...

This made my day.

McGillicutty said...

Oh my... you are so lucky to have a good internet pharm who will send such lovlies to you.
I was just telling a collegue today there's no need to be miserable as long as there are drugs in the world... what's wrong with some people????????? :)

The Girl Next Door said...

WedMD tells me there's no possibility of overdose -fortunately for you. Oh except in young children. So definitely do NOT share.

Linda said...

I loved this! Alas, it did stir my desire for internet druggery such as yours. I quit cold turkey after Christmas, and now am in danger of falling off the wagon.

No chocolate pills for me, no, no.

Tee aka The Diva's Thoughts said...

I'm jealous that I don't have a WebMD that can supply ME with such drugs. DRATS!

Tracy Perry said...

Priceless!

mo.stoneskin said...

I've never really considered a career in internet pharmacy, I reckon I would enjoy it. And for the record, I WOULD use a spell-checker.

Captain Dumbass said...

I just got back from taking my kids to the aquarium and I could use a handful of those as well.

Alex said...

Ha, cute!

rxBambi said...

I had something to tell you but I lost my addermall and xanadu. The first time I did it I was able to add 2 more sayings so I had Josh's Porn on both of them, but then that got screwed up damnitalltohell so I had to just go with the two.

ps- you are my VERY FAVORITE webmd. I love you lots. don't die on me. EVER

Megan said...

internet pharmacies make me happy.

phd in yogurtry said...

Perhaps upon reading the package insert you will discover that Addermall is a specially designed formula for remaining focused at the mall. You know, come out only with packages of things you went into the mall to get. No impulse buys. And Xanadu, well, of course, to be used as sedation during tacky musicals.

P.S. Jason sent me and I'm so glad he did.

A Daring Adventure said...

It's Friday, and that means that the Sixth Weekly State Department Blog Roundup is up - and you're on it!

Here is the link:

http://bit.ly/deo4HK

(If I quoted your text or used your photo(s) and you would rather I had not, please let me know. Please also be sure to check the link(s) that I put up to you, in order to verify that they work properly. If you would rather that I had not referenced you, and/or do not want me to reference you in the future, please also contact me.)

Thanks!

W.C.Camp said...

Those are so cool! I went to the M and M's store in Las Vegas. Any color but I have only seen the printed ones in magazines before.

Neat Idea. W.C.C.

Beth said...

I'm a little upset now. I totally think you should share your xanadu. It would make the gods happy.

tera said...

I totally need some of that Xanadu. In fact, I'm sure all my co-workers would be eternally grateful if I was on it right now. And if I shared.

Fragrant Liar said...

Dude. Going on ANOTHER plane trip this week (just got back). I'm totally out of Xanadu and have zippity time to get to the Addermall. Share with a girl, will ya?

Katie said...

hey I just stumbled upon your blog and really like it. I would follow you instantly but im not on my computer so I have to wait to log in, ill try to remember this URL so I can quickly subscribe to your blog.

If I by some chance forget it before getting home please stop by my own blog and just drop a line so I can find you again.

love the blog Katie.
www.wordsosweet.blogspot.com

tera said...

I tried to go to M&M's website to customize some Fukitall for my hubs, but they won't let me use obscene words.
Sheesh.

BTW - I left an award for you at my blog! :) (I'm sneaky like that)

Nanc Twop said...

I've even upped my dosage to one handful of each per day...

Read further down on the dosage chart - it recommends washing them down with a bottle of wine.

That's when you really start seeing the results. Or you stop caring. One of the two. I forget which.

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

You are a hoot. I want to hang out with you some day.

Anonymous said...

try not to overdose on them, pace your self.

blognut said...

I.can't.believe.you.got.the.drugs!

You ARE going to hook me up, aren't you? I gotta have 'em!