Monday, November 2, 2009

Some(One Else's) Random Thoughts...

So I received this at work today from someone who sent it to me and asked if I had written them....WTF!?  Where on earth do people come up with their theories?  This is sooo, not anything I would say!  However, kudos goes to whomever came up with it!
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-- I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

-- More often than not, when someone is telling me a story, all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story, that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.

-- Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

-- I don't understand the purpose of the phrase, "I don't need to drink to have fun."  Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter??

-- Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the vicinity thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

-- There is a great need for sarcasm font.

-- How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

-- I would rather try to carry 10 plastic bags full of groceries in each hand, than take 2 trips to bring them in from the car.

-- I think part of my BFF's job should be to immediately clear your computer history, and erase your iPod and Kindle if you die.

-- Was learning cursive really necessary??

-- I have a hard time deciphering that fine line between boredom and hunger.

-- Answering the same letter more than three times in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely terrifying.

-- Whenever someone says, "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart," all I hear is, "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart."

-- How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod your head and smile because you STILL didn't hear what they said??

-- I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a jackass from cutting in at the front!  Stay strong, brothers!!

-- Mapquest really needs to start their directions at #5.  I am pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

-- Bad decisions make good stories.

-- Why is it during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get all nervous and freaked out?  Like, I know my name, I know where I am from....this shouldn't be a problem!

-- You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

-- Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs?  I don't want to have to restart another collection.

-- I hate leaving my house confident and looking good, and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day.  What a waste.

-- Sometimes I will look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and STILL not know what time it is.

-- I disagree with Kay Jewelers.  I would bet that on any given Friday or Saturday night, more kisses begin with Bud Light than Kay.

18 comments:

An Open Heart said...

Did not sound like you, however, sounded like some topics you might talk about.....

I just finished laundry and had to fold a fitted sheet....wtf?

and, I totally agree with the BFF job, everytime I go under the knife I leave a letter for my BFF telling her where all the dead bodies are.....she LOVES that, (seriously, she says it makes her feel MOST important).


S

blognut said...

Heh. I wrote 'em. It was me.

But I didn't ask about folding fitted sheets because I already know that you don't fold them, you just wad them up. What's the point of folding them anyway?

Ambiance in the Attic said...

These are great and so true whether you wrote them or not. I didn't realize so many people have these same issues!

loveandbooze said...

AHAHAHA! I love this. Sounds just like something that would come from my mind!

franzi said...

piceless!

without trying to sound too martha steward, there is a way to fold fitted sheets. but it's only for giants who have arms as long as the whole bed. the rest of us just has to deal with the mess we create when attempting to be all housewifey.

franzi

Elle said...

I think this was written by my soulmate. I agree with every single one of these. Like who the hell really needs directions to get out of their neighborhood??

Frau said...

Lets add why do foreign countries not stock Milk Duds in their grocery stores and Coffee mate liquid creamer. And who decided 5:00 was appropriate time to start cocktails when 4:00 seems so much better in my book.

Juli Ryan said...

That's me, during an icebreaker. I get so anxious, and I forget everyone else's name because I'm worried about...remembering mine? WTF.

Middle Aged Woman said...

Pact still on, sister?

Pastor Sharon said...

You have caused me to break out into uncontrollable laughter! Love this post!

Reddirt Woman said...

Michel the thing that absolutely fascinates me about this post is that every random thought could so easily be expanded into a full on blog at any given moment or whim...

Fascinating!

Helen

Reddirt Woman said...

Oh, and maybe I need to start classes on how to fold fitted sheets... supplement my meager income, don't 'cha know...

Smart Mouth Broad said...

Are you sure that you didn't write these?

bernthis said...

check with the groceries, check when you just need to stop saying what, check check, check, Do me a favor, just write my blog as well since we are pretty much twins in personality..

Fragrant Liar said...

I'm looking at my watch right now (the one I'm pretending I'm wearing) cuz I'm going to turn around right now. And I don't want to look foolish. I don't look foolish, do I? I'm turning. Do I now?

Whew, who knew making a turn would be so stressful?

You DID write those, didn't you?

Gaston Studio said...

LOL, I've seen this list before and thought it to be one of the best I've read. I see everyone is focusing on the folding of the fitted sheets and to them, I say, if you only own one set of sheets you never have to fold anything!

tera said...

Oh. My. Gosh. I'm totally crying.
I just can't tell if it's from laughing or because...sniff...I no longer feel so alone!

(You totally wrote those, didn't you?)

tera said...

I may have to make t-shirts, or bumper stickers, out of a couple of those!