Quotes on the Emails....You know who you are!

Okay. I should probably warn you that I am going to rant!!! And, I should probably start this by stating unequivocally that I am a dog lover....in fact I might even go so far as to call myself a PET lover....well, maybe not spiders, rodents, fish, or snakes...those are not pets. Those are just creepy. Although perhaps I could possibly accept a hamster....no, wait. Who am I kidding? No. No hamsters.....those are just fat rodents.

So, maybe just a domestic dog/cat lover...and frankly, kitties are nice in other peoples' house. Why the hell can't they keep their dirt in their box?? WHY must they spread it all around the general box area?? that's just gross and unsanitary frankly...

I digress. However, I feel it is my civic duty to tell people that WE DO NOT CARE IF YOU LOVE YOUR DOG/CAT/THREE-TOED SLOTH...stop putting those damn quotes on your emails!!! ESPECIALLY on the work related ones.

It is bad enough that I have to pretend to work at least 8 hours every day!!! MUST I be forced to read some seven paragraph quote at the end of your email about dogs or cats going to heaven and blah blah blah. Its like a trainwreck!! You can't look away!! Even when you know it is coming (and believe me, they may LOVE their pet, but they are too lazy to change out their signature line on their emails!!) ...somehow you still read it. Yup. Still an ass.

I'm not a pet hater - In fact I truly adore my dogs (which are totally better than that rodent looking thing on those emails), I'm basically what you would call a "work" hater.....I am pretty much actively looking for any reason - no matter how small - NOT to work. Even though this is my first posting, my friends can attest that my laziness is well known. Just today I ate my salad in my office with a spoon because I didn't want to walk all the way to the breakroom to get a fork. (it was waaay far and there is no Christmas candy left - so honestly, what's the point!) Soo, when i see one of these (and believe me, I see them routinely) I feel it is critical that I stop what I am doing and tell people what an ass you are....I'm selfless this way. I'm such a good person. ...

Therefore, if you put a quote (even if it is not about pets) at the end of your email then you damn well better change it out before you send another one. Unless you have a random (not lame) quote generator, why not just sign your stupid name? People will thank you for it. And when I say "thank you" i mean, they won't spend 17 minutes forwarding your email to all their friends at work mocking you and changing your quote to make it even more gay.