So, as you may have noticed I have been a tad bit lazy posting my thoughts....well, you would notice if you were anxiously awaiting for me to tell you what I think about stuff - which, OF COURSE YOU ARE -- I mean, why on earth wouldn't you be doing that?? DOOY! ANYWAY, I have (yet another) excuse: We moved into the new Embassy.
So naturally, I'm going to finally say, "Today was a good day!" (No it wasn't.) -- I'm just trying to be more positive because I was shocked to read someone's comment that pretty much asked if anything good happens here (No it doesn't.) So then I thought that maybe I should try to be more positive and upbeat...you know, fake.... But then I thought, Do I really have to be positive with you guys? Let's face it...Positive is going to be a little bits difficult for me to pull off. It's exhausting!
Frankly, I think we owe it to each other to be honest with each other. (OMG! I almost typed that without laughing...haha.) No we don't. Nobody wants to read about some damn form I filled out four times to get blue pens rather than black ones that were made in 1972 -- or that, YES, I did fill out that on-line form four times because this is the type of shit that I can't seem to let go of...but tricky foreign policy issues?? Eh...I'm sure it will all work out -- Christina's probably doing something about it....Now where was that damn form!?
Anyway, moved into the new Embassy that took the USG about 12 years to build. It's very pretty, all shiny and new -- doesn't smell like ass yet. Small problem though...nothing really works. It's kinda like we're working out of a model home. For God's sake, don't move anything!! AND, you know how I refuse to use foreign elevators (because they tend to catch on fire and then leave you stranded in them -- I'm not sure foreigners have mastered actual elevator technology)...anyway...I get all the way to my floor - and you can't open the door. It's locked and you need to know how to open it (I did not). So I walked down to Post One to complain to the marine (because I always forget and think they will care) (FYI, they don't.) And he sent me to see the security guy on another floor - so I get in the stairs -- AND IT'S EFFIN LOCKED!
So I used the elevator. Amazingly enough, it did not internally combust.....so I figured...NOW it's going to be a good day...
So I decided to go to the new-improved cafeteria to get a cup of coffee. The Embassy forgot to order coffee. (Note to Self: write strongly worded letter to Congressman) (Additional Note to self: Find out who is your Congressman.) Also, not sure Cafeteria workers speak English or Arabic. Might actually be mute, which could be a tragedy....(Note to Self: Bring sock puppet or make big picture of yummy coffee).
So I figured that all was not lost...I'll just go into the office and get a cup of coffee there. I mean, we're the USG. They provide us coffee pots in the office...we just need to bring in our own coffee. SURELY someone remembered that. -- There was no coffee pot, no microwave, and no mugs or anything....SO (Are you still riveted?? This is exciting shit isn't it? Twists, plot turns...etc) I did some calming measures -- good air in....bad air out.... -- and ran around the office in a panic. Turns out, I sort created an angry mob. Afterwards, I was thinking that maybe this was not technically what I was going for in my "be more positive" campaign...but, we did get a coffee pot and microwave by the next morning, so really....if you think about it...I'm a damn HERO!
I'll probably get some kind of award. So after my triumph, I decided to get started on my work, because I'm totally a dedicated public servant like that....
The Embassy forgot to hook up the printers. Now I know we're all trying to be an electronic, paperless, green society and all -- BUT THEY WON'T ACCEPT MY FORM UNLESS I SIGN IT AND SUBMIT A HARDCOPY TO THEM!!!
I think we all know what is going on here: The Embassy discriminates against non-1970s era blue pens who are not made by the Lighthouse for the Blind.
Tomorrow I will be positive. Tomorrow I will be nice to a foreigner. Tomorrow I will go to the gym. Tomorrow I will drive to work and not consider running over people. Tomorrow will be better. You'll see.
Undaunted Courage, Plus Yarn
1 day ago